hade to put it somewhere

what would I say
if I only knew
whatever I said
would make you swoon
if I could say anything
and not be afraid
and not frighten you
nor beguile you
but If what I would say
would envelop you
honestly take you
if every word I had
would warm your heart
and fill your cup
what would I say
caution to the wind
or so they say
but who are they
and when have they been right anyway
it sucks
when every pause
every punctuation
is considered
is sent off to be deliberated
what to say?
not what to say
but what would *I* say
I would say..
i'm scared
and I am frightened
I would say
it reminds me of love
I would say
i'm thrilled
and i'm giddy
and I am feeling slightly pretty
I would say

I would say
man, I don't know you
but, man, you can have me
you can take me
you can take me anywhere and break me
or just make me
I would say
i'm willing to let my guard down
I am open to love
i'm willing to get hurt
for you
would I say

I would say
i'm really fucking sorry I didn't smile
I would say
and I would say it again
I did, I did smile
but I was in shock
and my lips never moved
I would say
and you kissed me
and I froze and fainted
and felt totally fucking in awe
every insecurity i've ever learned
is getting yanked out of the grain
I would say
liberating the fly from the web
baby from womb
I would say
every bit of self doubt
is being tested
I would say
next time I will smile the smile I smile now
I would say
today
the smile i've held with me for two days
the smile i've let enrapture me
I would say
the gift of smile you've given me
I would say

I would say
I hope I was me enough to have a second go
I would say
I don't know you from eve
but we talked of celebrity
I would say
I was really star struck
clocks that last for eons
for fucks sake
I would say
clubs that came and went
I would say
you are glamorous
you are a spectacle
I would say
you downright make me want to melt
I would say

what I did say was
refreshed
still rings true
like stoked
but not stoked
not like a surfer
but that little flame that's been lurking
those little embers glowing beneath
never ventured that you could exist
I would say
never entertained the notion
certainly fortunate to have that moment
to have this day today
this 2 days
these words at my fingers
this i would say

I would say sorry
I would say
I was distracted
by a beauty so distracting I didn't know where I was
magical like a performance
fleeting like my life flashed
off and on again
what I did say
you are a wonder
raven at that
you are empirical
you are beauty
I would say

I would say
please don't go
I would say
just plain jane please
is all i would say
all of everything for a chance
I would say
for the glory of god
I would say
next time I will smile the smile I've not smiled in a great while
I would say
and when I was young
someone young wrote this song
someone younger then made it again
and that one i'm sure you know
no snow for the eskimo
“saw your brown eyes turning once to fire....“

these words at my fingers
but still not at my lips
what do I say