somewhere someshere

if i could type, i wouldn't care
not that i do, but i suppose i must

anyway
here we are
new equipment
new gear
a new world
and new beginning
some new cloths
almost a new year
which to run
to or from
i want it all to work
beautiful in all its high definitions
i want flawless
easy compatibility
fire where combustible
smooth when clean
preparing for this gig is what we do
we do it to do it right
"corners always get cut"
so says the coroner as she cuts
lives get lost and scenes fall all over
this is a film that i only want to grow
a show to display all we know
we didn't come here without
i know we don't want to go
is this what we've planned?
no
are we forcing this to happen?
...
or are we letting happen take its course?
...
what gets lost along the way
once the brisk snowy dust settles
on this piercing callous ground
in this field of honor
who'll be found
so far it all clicks
a jitterless clock clunking along
all we've tried has worked thus far
all we've attempted has warmed us
this hut is looking plush

i'll take the photos of all the plastic as they pass

x-mas is coming
and something is getting fat
all i want to do is let go
let it all go
and melt
and drip into a vat
and pour the sludge all over
to lube this machine
to bring it all back

paige turned

and mcvandal fell:

Watch her out there on display
Dancing in her sleepy way
And all her visions start to play
The icicles of our decay, Marlene
Drink it to Marlene

Fading flowers in her hair
She's suffering from wear and tear
She lies in waterfalls of dreams
And doesn't question what it means, Marlene
We drink it to Marlene

And all along the desert shore
She wanders further evermore
The only thing that's left to try
She says to live I have to die, Marlene
We drink it to Marlene
Marlene
We drink it to Marlene

She whispers sadly, "Well I might"
And holds herself so very tight
Then jumping from an unknown height
She merges with the liquid night, Marlene
Marlene
We drink it to Marlene

Her lovers wrap her mist in furs
And tell her what she has is hers
But when they take her by the hand
She slips back in the desert sand
Our Marlene
We drink it to Marlene
Marlene

But what she leaves is made of glass
And lovers worship as they pass
And each one says, "Well, now she's mine"
But all drink solitary wine
Marlene
Marlene

Fare thee well
Fare thee well

somewhere the sundances
and the snow falls
or just sits on the floor
some stars come out but most do not
mortals come out to play
feel mighty big as they buy their licenses
and pretend to be important
they gather at functions
where no one knows any 1
and care even less about the ones they don't know
most just shop
shop for chop off the olde chopping block
and rip someone off as they get carried aloft
some make it
some do not
most sit in cabs
and hide from the cold
huddled to get her
befuddled but bold
more glitz and more biz more than enough people to say yes
like beastly tentacles something may emerge
a leviathan of marketing or from a spark of imagination
something new may arise and give it all meaning

hade to put it somewhere

what would I say
if I only knew
whatever I said
would make you swoon
if I could say anything
and not be afraid
and not frighten you
nor beguile you
but If what I would say
would envelop you
honestly take you
if every word I had
would warm your heart
and fill your cup
what would I say
caution to the wind
or so they say
but who are they
and when have they been right anyway
it sucks
when every pause
every punctuation
is considered
is sent off to be deliberated
what to say?
not what to say
but what would *I* say
I would say..
i'm scared
and I am frightened
I would say
it reminds me of love
I would say
i'm thrilled
and i'm giddy
and I am feeling slightly pretty
I would say

I would say
man, I don't know you
but, man, you can have me
you can take me
you can take me anywhere and break me
or just make me
I would say
i'm willing to let my guard down
I am open to love
i'm willing to get hurt
for you
would I say

I would say
i'm really fucking sorry I didn't smile
I would say
and I would say it again
I did, I did smile
but I was in shock
and my lips never moved
I would say
and you kissed me
and I froze and fainted
and felt totally fucking in awe
every insecurity i've ever learned
is getting yanked out of the grain
I would say
liberating the fly from the web
baby from womb
I would say
every bit of self doubt
is being tested
I would say
next time I will smile the smile I smile now
I would say
today
the smile i've held with me for two days
the smile i've let enrapture me
I would say
the gift of smile you've given me
I would say

I would say
I hope I was me enough to have a second go
I would say
I don't know you from eve
but we talked of celebrity
I would say
I was really star struck
clocks that last for eons
for fucks sake
I would say
clubs that came and went
I would say
you are glamorous
you are a spectacle
I would say
you downright make me want to melt
I would say

what I did say was
refreshed
still rings true
like stoked
but not stoked
not like a surfer
but that little flame that's been lurking
those little embers glowing beneath
never ventured that you could exist
I would say
never entertained the notion
certainly fortunate to have that moment
to have this day today
this 2 days
these words at my fingers
this i would say

I would say sorry
I would say
I was distracted
by a beauty so distracting I didn't know where I was
magical like a performance
fleeting like my life flashed
off and on again
what I did say
you are a wonder
raven at that
you are empirical
you are beauty
I would say

I would say
please don't go
I would say
just plain jane please
is all i would say
all of everything for a chance
I would say
for the glory of god
I would say
next time I will smile the smile I've not smiled in a great while
I would say
and when I was young
someone young wrote this song
someone younger then made it again
and that one i'm sure you know
no snow for the eskimo
“saw your brown eyes turning once to fire....“

these words at my fingers
but still not at my lips
what do I say

have another, you'll be fine

i was just reminded of another gripe
damn, what was it...
oh, hardware acceleration will blue screen machines while playing with WME
both ati and nvidia
again
3 different pc
2 different different cards
2 different oses
1 lame ass encoder

what is ks anyway

this is a gripe i've been puting off for a while
but it's reared it's ugly head
ks.sys
??????
what is this
??????
take a pc
install windows xp pro and the latest patches
install an osprey card
launch windows media encoder
and there you have it
ks.sys is missing
no audio os the result
copy ks.sys from any older machine laying about and all is fine
wtf.
has no one noticed?
5 different installations
4 different pcs
3 different capture cards
2 different oses (server 2003 did the same)
1 annoyed engineer

have you got your fiber for the day

we have the chedda to buy some fibery bits to build the mothership of on location tactical fiber
well will rival any rental house in the area, only you can't have any of it.
ok, so here is my gripe: why are there no visio shapes for broadcast production gear that i can find?
it's not like i'm going to do it.
i can't even keep up this blog
back to the show
we do these big truck shoots with thousands of meters of triax, audio, data, pl, video, sdi... you name it...
it takes too long to do the medial task of dragging cable through the bushes over and over and over and over
ah, 1 single multi strand tactical fiber on a motorized spool.
now that's more like it.
neutrik has their fibercon which are cool
belden makes some nice wide-band cable
so we're trying to figure out what needs to sit at either end of the fiber
we're looking at telecast, multidyne and some other one that escapes me
oh i'll need to check out opticomm too
anyway, here's what we use and we'll need room to grow
23 analog audio one way
8 the other
10 2wire pl channels
4+ triax or multicore
lan
422
gpb
a mix of 15+ composite, sdi in every which direction
something modular and flexible... adaptive, that's the catch phrase..
could scale up to hd
i like telecast because all their stuff is named after snakes. they don't do vga though